Sunday, June 29, 2014

Checklist for Indian women


Open box Get married at an early age. Life is all about being a wife
Open box Learn all the household chores. It's a scale to measure our superiority.
Open box Learn to cook. A way to men's heart is through his stomach. That's the goal ladies.
Open box Get a degree for higher comparability. You know, if you want to be a housewife in the urban areas.
Open box Learn useful hobbies like knitting or sewing because how can painting or dancing be useful to anyone else?
Open box Do not be too fat or too thin. "Hourglass" is the word.
Open box Get a good complexion. The fairer, the better. We have to replace tubelights in the hour of need.
Open box Sacrifice for parents, husband and then kids later. We are very privileged, anyway.
Open box Give up your last name, your home, your parents and your whole identity.
Open box Get acid, fire or beating proof. Our life is full of adventures.
Open box In case of poverty, give up the chance to be educated. Brother can read better.
Open box Mentally prepare yourself to be a "house-wife"
Open box If you are allowed to work, mentally prepare yourself to be a working wife + a housewife. We are         officially a Ninja.
Open box Learn this equation. Motherhood = Primary caretaker. Now repeat it 10 times.
Open box Give up your career if you want kids. Master's in Motherhood is what you need and Wife Executive is a top white collared job. Yes, it is.
Open box Be ready to hear opinions of people if in case you really WANT to be a housewife and a mother, because there is that kind too.
Open box No bold professions.
Open box No profession with a higher level of physical work. We don't want to damage our stilettos.
Open box Get this - Pink is our color. From womb to tomb. "Hail Pink" is our motto.
Open box Do not ask for motor trucks or toy guns. Barbies. WE WANT BARBIES.
Open box Stay alert. Always. Even when you are asleep. Who doesn't like that.
Open box Don't opt for public transport when it's crowded. Open roads are better for getting groped.
Open box Don't opt for public transport when they are empty. You have to master the ability of identifying just the right amount of crowd.
Open box Wear fully covered clothes. You might expose a virtue with that sweetslutheart-neckline.
Open box Do not apply heavy make-up. Makes you look inviting. Red lipstick = whore lipstick. You don't want that. Naa eh.
Open box Learn self defense. Beatrix Kiddo kind.
Open box Not to trust anyone. No one. Because everyone loves you.
Open box Carry pepper spray. The latest in the women's deodorant section.
Open box Cell phone should be fully charged. You never know when you are alone at night, in the middle of nowhere and you feel the need to order a pizza..
Open box No roaming around after it's dark. Peter Pan might come, grab you by hand and take you to Neverland.
Open box No male friends. Are you a slut? No, right?
Open box No drinking. Relaxing in a bar with a bunch of friends is too mainstream.
Open box No parties or disco. Music make us waaayield!
Open box No Chow mein. No explanation.
Open box Call everyone your 'brother'. That one word is an instant demon modifier.
Open box Listen to and value opinions of bigots even if you don't know them. We flourish because of their blessings.
Open box Get objectified. We are Shapeshifters. We can be Tandoori Murghi or a doll or a beer bottle anytime we want.
Open box Be happy. There is very high chance you don't get to check off this list. You lived for only two months in a belly. You lucky little devil.
Open box Don't over-think. It is always our fault. We are unstoppable.
Open box Be everything, but you.

START TICKING, LADIES




33 comments:

  1. OMG ! That's quite a list, Dhara ! An exhaustive (exhausting also ) list of female stereotypes :) I found myself nodding at every single thing.
    I can hear the silent sarcasm screaming out of this. Need I tell you ??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah :)
      We get it because we all travel in the same boat, even if our stories are different.

      Delete
  2. I am from that category who is a MONSTER mother who continued to work after baby ! Poor baby needs mother when he is sleeping all day, u know?

    You have covered all possible points on that list ! And you have helped many women vent their frustration because you wrote for everyone ! Kudos to u !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This means a lot to me. I somewhere knew I was speaking on behalf of a lot of women.
      I know a lot of women go through these circumstances and that is what made me angry. I just had to let it out.
      Your baby will love you no matter what. You will be an excellent mother no matter what. Your choice in career does not define your motherhood.

      Delete
  3. What a wonderful list! Cracked me up, but each and every point rings true, you know! Loved it, Dhara :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. If only India starts considering her women as human.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Woah. Some list that was. Things are really bad for women in many parts of the world even today. And India is somewhere at the top of that list.

    Alas, sometimes women themselves are responsible for ill-treating others of their own kind. If there was more support from within their own quarters, maybe things would've been slightly better today.

    Do drop by my blog. Attempted a new genre - film parody.

    Cheers
    CRD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My next post, which is already drafted is "Women's role in abuse against women".

      Thank you :)

      Delete
  6. wow!applause
    You are just awesome :D

    Last point ate all points
    I connect a lot with last one!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Now THAT was some list !
    Very well written Dhara. Loved the sarcasm in it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Isn't it sad that even in a world when women are leaders and leading major corps, they are still rated and appraised on how well they dress, how good they look or how they cook up a meal!! And even more sad is it's not just in the minds of male population but female too. Why should any woman be a supermom or superwoman? Yeah frustrates me too when any of this obligation is forced on me. If I want to dress well, I will out of common sense, not because some imposing ridiculous minds.
    Well written.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know. It's frustrating. Women are no way behind men. They are equally responsible for pulling a fellow women down.
      Also, being a supermom is too much overrated.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  9. hahahaha i would die laughing sick sick sick indians

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't believe everyone is sick. For example, I have not been through most of these points. There might be many more exceptions like me. Plus, most of these points are because of our long going, deep-rooted culture.

      Delete
  10. shared it on FB n deBATE IS ON :P :d

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohh.. I want to see that debate!!!!

      Delete
  11. Crazy shit :\

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41WNF6yOP1A

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got welled up after listening to the lyrics. It's so powerful and pushes you to do some brain-storming. I have never heard this song before. Thank you for sharing. I loved it A LOT!

      Delete
  12. How on earth did I miss this? Awesome piece.

    I loved the pizza one. Not only that, every.single.checkbox.

    You are awesome, you know that, right ?

    P.S. I apologize for commenting so late. And no posting here these days. I see a lot of Facebook posts. But nevertheless keep doing that. At least you are expressing somewhere. I am not doing either. -_-

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so so so sorry for replying this late. I know I am awesome because I read super awesome people like you.

      Yes, Facebook page has made me lazy, but I will try to get back to the blog as fast as I can. I have to hop on your blog too, to check what's going on. Haven't been anywhere lately.

      Thank you :)

      Delete
    2. First of all, no apologies necessary, especially among friends and umm bloggers as well.
      Haha. Touché. But still you are awesome nevertheless.

      Its okay. No hurry. At your convenience only.
      Take care. :)

      Delete
    3. Hehe.. Thank you again. Your comments always makes me smile. :)

      Delete
  13. Applause for most of the points you've written. You've covered pretty much every point with which women are abused or put down in India. And it's great that you and many others like you write such posts. It helps in at least 2 ways - it helps you (and others) give vent to their frustrations, and secondly, it raises awareness. While the first point is well and true (as you can also see from the other comments), the second is not always true. The issue with this post is one I have with pretty much every such post I see on the internet -- that those who are going to read these posts already know how to treat a lady, how not to discriminate and how to behave. These posts don't reach the crowd that really needs to be educated.

    Sorry, I know it may not have been your intention to be a crusader - perhaps you wrote this blog post out of frustration, and I'm not putting it down. I'm just reflecting on my thoughts.

    Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you "Anonymous" for your well-thought input. I agree with you that majority of the people who will be reading this knows how to treat a lady, but I not everyone. We always believe that educated, literate people are always well-behaved, liberal, broad-minded people, however that is not always true. I have come across a lot of instances where those kind have demeaning characters and thought process.
      You are right too. More than all that, this blog is a medium to vent all my anger and frustration towards anything/everything that bothers me as a human. I have also written an open letter to a rapist and I am am sure no rapist is every going to read that, but.....
      Anyway, thank you again :)

      Delete
    2. Thank you for a considerate response. I was afraid my post might be misconceived as a disagreement with your post or something.

      PS: Yes, I have been checking this post every couple of days for your response. :)

      Cheers.

      Delete
    3. Not at all. Your comment was very genuine and constructive and I am always open to such kind of comments.

      Thank you for being here. You can follow the blog through your email or Facebook, so that you don't have to check every now and then.

      Delete
  14. A great satiric article, I agree with mr. Anonymous, loved the public transport point, well expressed.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete