Sunday, June 29, 2014

Checklist for Indian women

Open box Get married at an early age. Life is all about being a wife
Open box Learn all the household chores. It's a scale to measure our superiority.
Open box Learn to cook. A way to men's heart is through his stomach. That's the goal ladies.
Open box Get a degree for higher comparability. You know, if you want to be a housewife in the urban areas.
Open box Learn useful hobbies like knitting or sewing because how can painting or dancing be useful to anyone else?
Open box Do not be too fat or too thin. "Hourglass" is the word.
Open box Get a good complexion. The fairer, the better. We have to replace tubelights in the hour of need.
Open box Sacrifice for parents, husband and then kids later. We are very privileged, anyway.
Open box Give up your last name, your home, your parents and your whole identity.
Open box Get acid, fire or beating proof. Our life is full of adventures.
Open box In case of poverty, give up the chance to be educated. Brother can read better.
Open box Mentally prepare yourself to be a "house-wife"
Open box If you are allowed to work, mentally prepare yourself to be a working wife + a housewife. We are         officially a Ninja.
Open box Learn this equation. Motherhood = Primary caretaker. Now repeat it 10 times.
Open box Give up your career if you want kids. Master's in Motherhood is what you need and Wife Executive is a top white collared job. Yes, it is.
Open box Be ready to hear opinions of people if in case you really WANT to be a housewife and a mother, because there is that kind too.
Open box No bold professions.
Open box No profession with a higher level of physical work. We don't want to damage our stilettos.
Open box Get this - Pink is our color. From womb to tomb. "Hail Pink" is our motto.
Open box Do not ask for motor trucks or toy guns. Barbies. WE WANT BARBIES.
Open box Stay alert. Always. Even when you are asleep. Who doesn't like that.
Open box Don't opt for public transport when it's crowded. Open roads are better for getting groped.
Open box Don't opt for public transport when they are empty. You have to master the ability of identifying just the right amount of crowd.
Open box Wear fully covered clothes. You might expose a virtue with that sweetslutheart-neckline.
Open box Do not apply heavy make-up. Makes you look inviting. Red lipstick = whore lipstick. You don't want that. Naa eh.
Open box Learn self defense. Beatrix Kiddo kind.
Open box Not to trust anyone. No one. Because everyone loves you.
Open box Carry pepper spray. The latest in the women's deodorant section.
Open box Cell phone should be fully charged. You never know when you are alone at night, in the middle of nowhere and you feel the need to order a pizza..
Open box No roaming around after it's dark. Peter Pan might come, grab you by hand and take you to Neverland.
Open box No male friends. Are you a slut? No, right?
Open box No drinking. Relaxing in a bar with a bunch of friends is too mainstream.
Open box No parties or disco. Music make us waaayield!
Open box No Chow mein. No explanation.
Open box Call everyone your 'brother'. That one word is an instant demon modifier.
Open box Listen to and value opinions of bigots even if you don't know them. We flourish because of their blessings.
Open box Get objectified. We are Shapeshifters. We can be Tandoori Murghi or a doll or a beer bottle anytime we want.
Open box Be happy. There is very high chance you don't get to check off this list. You lived for only two months in a belly. You lucky little devil.
Open box Don't over-think. It is always our fault. We are unstoppable.
Open box Be everything, but you.



Friday, June 6, 2014

Why Tyrion Lannister is the most unique character ever written

Game of Thrones is an ocean of characters. It is filled with lovers, fighters, rapists, whores, dragons, wolves, Hodor, witches, cannibals, walkers, pedophiles, incestuous, slashers and what not.

And among all those abnormalities lies Tyrion Lannister. The Imp.

Tyrion is a very underestimated character. Obviously, the most likable characters on the show are Jon Snow, who is too charismatic for the girls to resist, Arya Stark, who kicks asses with her tomboyish charm and Khaleesi, because let's face it, she is hot, have an army larger than the ants and have dragons for kids. So what makes Tyrion, the best?

Most of the characters on the show are either too weak or too strong, too beautiful or too ugly, too good or too evil, however it's hard to find a correct adjective for Tyrion.
We can start with 'relatable'. While the aspects of other characters looks unreal and fictitious, we can easily relate to Tyrion. He is one of us. He is like you. He is like me. Even though he is righteous, he is flawed. He is utterly, viciously and gorgeously flawed.

He is a dwarf.
He is scarred.
He is addicted to alcohol and whores.
He is insecure in his own skin.
He hates the way he is.
He is too afraid to stand up against his own family.
He don't have the strength to be with the woman he loves.
He understands what is right and he still can't mend things.
He is helpless.
He is not perfect.
He is flawed.

But we still like him. He is fiercely witty. He believes in good. He is not heartless. He hates morons. He is the only person who gave Joffrey a hard time. Remember when he slapped him?
More satisfying than getting our back scratched by someone

He make us have faith in the Lannisters. He faced the Batlle of Blackwater like a boss. He respects Sansa, even though he had the liberty to do whatever he want. He is one of the most unfortunate character even though he is a Lannister. The love of his life doesn't believe in him, his own family hates him to the core, his most trusted friend ditches him, he is controlled by others, he is a tragic hero, but he still manages to be empathetic towards people.

Regardless of all these goodness, it is his physicality, his scar and his flaws that makes him unique. Had he been a Jon Snow or a Jamie, with the good qualities he have, he would just end up being a normal guy. The dynamism of his character makes us like him and care for him. He has sentiments that no other character posses. The other characters on the show are too involved in their own stories, their revenge or their goals, but Tyrion alone fights for the good.
And just as he said, he didn't let words of others cut him. He took the name they gave, made it his own and didn't let anyone hurt him with it anymore.
He was always a delight to watch and I liked him from the start, but it was the trial scene from the sixth episode of season four that compelled me to write this post. Skip the video if you have not watched that episode.

I am sorry Arya Stark. You just got dumped to number two on my GoT's favorite characters list.

Peter Dinklage took this character to another level with this trial scene. It is impossible to explain his flawless acting in words. Every word out of his mouth is like a reward for losing all the good characters in this show. His speech is like a roar of a lion and it gives us goosebumps. 

Therefore, I rest my case. Tyrion Lannister, you are guilty as charged for being too awesome.

Mr. George R.R. Martin, oh you good, clever, weird, evil old man, please don't take him away from us or

"I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you're safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid."

P.S. I request all the commentators to not write any spoilers for the sake of good manners and humanity.