Wednesday, August 14, 2013

What Facebook can't do!

1). A Facebook like cannot solve your problems. Had it been this easy, half of my friends would be living a problem-free buttery life.
2). Facebook cannot convert your likes in to prayers. While this poor baby is really in need of prayers and happy thoughts, making him a mockery is preposterous. People who are trying to pray this way are doing nothing, but feeding likes-hungry trolls who sure doesn't care about the baby as much as they care about the popularity of their page.
 3). A Facebook like would not make you the most religious person on this earth, if it can, it will only make you a dumbnut.
 4). Facebook does not convert your likes in to salutes or "massive respect". How can one not see, how these pages uses every possible picture on internet, inserts "1 like = 1 prayer/salute/slap/kiss/hug/fuck " and display them everywhere on Facebook to make their page popular. If you really want to salute this man, Google him and write two kind words on the website which was created by his friends and family.
 5). Facebook do not make Gods talk. You really think if Lord Ganesha was speaking, all he would care were likes on a social networking site? Don't you read the line before the picture that throws an open tantrum "MUST VISIT OUR PAGE". Seriously, grow up.
6). A Facebook share and like is not going to measure your love for people. If you really are your proud of your son, go hug him or spend a minute with him, which you wasted, by sharing this picture. Maybe this picture is alright, but the last line bugs the hell out of me.
 7). Facebook cannot measure your love for your mom.
This was the worst and the cheapest method that I came across. No wait, there was one where it said, "Like if you love your mom, ignore if you want her to die" Yes, that was the worst. If nothing, I at least salute the strategies used by such pages to play with human emotions and make a fool out of them.

 One such example below. Trust me, I have gems.
8). Facebook do not and I say this with the highest voice my vocal chords can produce - NEVER donates money for your likes. Mark Zuckerberg have better charity options than to rely on your likes. Please do not use or let others use people's illness and bitterness of life.

9). Facebook likes does not make you patriotic.
The pages and their posts, like fruits, are seasonal. They optimize every season, every festival and every event. Like here, the Independence Day, delivers them a thousand more likes from the "patriots". The next one from this page would be "Can this brother GETS only 20000 likes?"  on Rakshabandhan, possibly with a picture of a poor brother. I weep for humanity.

10). Facebook is not Dr. Facebook. I am not able to find an appropriate picture here, but there have been lot of pages giving remedies to illness or even serious events like strokes or heart attacks. Many of those instructions and information is wrong. Seriously guys, jokes apart, you are now playing with people's lives. Please, at least always Google before putting up such information or to be on the safer side, just don't spread ignorant information.

And the award for the "Biggest attention-seeker in the world" goes to the maker of this page.

                    The sad part is, I didn't have to go anywhere else to get these pictures. They were all taken from my home page and that was the reason I had to come up with such obnoxious post. I totally believe in it's-my Faceboook-I-can-do-whatever-I-want or change-your-settings-if-you-don't-like-my-updates, but this is what I see everyday, from almost everyone. The easier way would be not to open Facebook at all.

                    However, if people are banging their heads on the wall, I believe in telling them that it would hurt, at least once. I cannot witness people traveling back to stone-age. Please note that, at no level I am mocking people's emotions. Share pictures, share stories, but for knowledge and not to feed moronic pages who fall the lowest of low to get likes and shares.

                   I have a Facebook page and I would be overjoyed too if I get a million likes on my page, but that doesn't mean, I should go on emotionally threatening people to like my page or else maybe they would lose their mothers!! If you like such pages, stop and think again. If you are maker of such pages, I have nothing, but sympathy for you. Your life must be sad and you don't have anything to give your ego a boost, other than likes of people on a social networking site.

Live long and prosper,


  1. This us totally on point. I've ignored so many things so that means I hate my mom, Jesus, sick people...

    You forgot the most absolutely idiotic part the kids/men/women holding up their signs saying for a million likes their parent/husband/brother/sister will do something for them. That pisses me off EVERY time.

    1. I just came across that one. A kid suffering from cancer was actually holding a board that said an inspiring quote. What these smart asses did was edit the board and said "Give me a million likes"
      Shanique, if you knew how to read Hindi, you would have a good laugh.

  2. Hahaha so true Dhara, evn i'm fed up of this types of post...Really ppl hve no life ...i never ever liked such post..

  3. My heart goes out to the countless people suffering with different ailments / problems and then there are these posts to Like or Share if we want to save them. Seriously ? It if takes I would go personally and help them out. But a like saving a person's life? I would create a million facebook profiles and keep on liking them.

    Once I enjoyed Facebook. I was on it like almost the whole day. Now, it is just full of cr*p. And I rarely open it these days. Thanks to those posts.

    @The Last para : I feel exactly the same.
    And what I don't understand whether these people think it is some kind of social service or what? Is it helping anyone ? Atleast them ? Except feeding their ego and proving their immorality towards other people.

    1. Exactly. The whole idea about writing this was to let them realize what they are up to rather than the annoyance it created in my head.

  4. I just shared this post on, well, FB.
    One like=one salute :D

    1. Thank you Sushmit.
      And that should be the tag line the marketing industry should start using.

  5. Ah, I totally get it. Its almost the same case with everyone, except for those sharing it. The sad part is many people fall for it.
    My solution. I just hide the news feed of particular people who share such kinda posts. :P

    1. That was my solution too but, as I wrote above, there are dozens of friends who does these. So instead of changing settings for so many people, the easier way would be to not open my homepage at all. I prefer the latter.

  6. Hahaha..that was a hit on bull's eye and this post is not at all obnoxious.Rather the bitter truth.I wanted to get rid of this clutter for a long time and that is just what i did a week ago.I deleted my Facebook id.
    I don't know if it is appropriate to say so but your post was hilarious :D (though not at all false totally true)
    Take care
    Keep smiling always!

    1. Thank you so much Alcina. It WAS appropriate to call it hilarious as I tried keeping that tone rather than making it look like I was whining. lol

  7. You are really talented!! I didn't know about your blog and i like it so much! Would you like to follow eachother? I'm following you :)

  8. This is really funny and i can totally feel the frustration of such facebook love and patriotism in your post.. This is everywhere on facebook these days..

    I am more of a 'keeping track of my each and every fb like' person myself but still hate those cheap tricks just for the sake of share and likes on bogus posts.. gussa to un bandon pe aata hai jo share or like karte hain ye sab.. i mean duniya to kuch bhi daalti hai yar fb pe.. kam se kam humare friends to apni akal laga sakte hain!

    And i am sure nobody of that category would be reading this post.. those guys would be busy sharing some photoshoped pictures of shivji in kailasha.. :P

    I keep blocking such guys time to time for my peace of mind!

    Happy Blogging.

    1. No, my posts are usually read by a lot of people on Facebook and hence I am showered with numerous likes on every post however, this post did have a huge number of views and less likes. So somewhere, I have offended a lot of people.
      Does that change my views on this non-sensible activity? No.
      haha.. Happy Blogging & Happy Facebooking!

    2. Well that's good news then.. if it reaches out to such crowd and they are angry with you then you proved your point! :)

      I wish you many more views and likes on your post.. Go viral! :P

      Happy Life!

  9. Hi there! I am not first time on your blog... I used to read your poems but unfortunately I couldn't get the chance to comment on your other posts too.. But when I saw you in my list of followers... I was really honoured ! :)

    So apologies for not commenting on your previous posts and for this post- Gee! that was cruel man! :D Bechare itni mehnat se photo upload karte hain.. and dumbnuts even take the pain to write a caption.. ! Once I wrote 'fuck you admin' on such post and my god! I faced quite a wrath of devoted assholes!
    I really hope all those whackjobs read this post of yours and they regain their lost senses! sigh!
    See you aren't the only one irritated by such demeaning things..
    Gr8 to be here again :)

    1. Yes, I remember your comments on some of my very old posts.

      If internet had weapons and ammunition, we would have world war everyday. People really behave in odd and ruthless way.

  10. summed up everything so good....

    - Kuldeep


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