Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Fake Gems

Originally written on: August 12, 2010


Even after entering adulthood, there still exist some stubborn childish tantrums in all of us. For me they erupt when I am lying sick in my bed and the time comes to gulp down those disastrous pills.
The pills with their angelic and gem-like appearance tries their best to charm, but fails miserably. I know behind the enchanting mask somewhere lies a hideous tasting devil which'll make my taste buds cry for help.
Pills were always like an enemy to me. I hated them from the day I first saw them. I always thought they make you sicker. They stink. Their smell make my nose die a hundred times. Even after avoiding them to my best, when the time comes to consume them, my mind is replaced with Einstein's. Ideas pop up and I try them:
- Disposing in the sink
- Shoving it out of the window..
- Putting them back where they came from..
- Dropping them in the flower vase..
- Burying under my pillow (I was CAUGHT here!)
Consequently after trying my hands on many such ideas, I started attracting supervisors during my medicine-taking process. Their eyeballs targeted the pills, making sure they reach their destiny.
During my recent sickness, situation for me turned out to be pensive. They were not one or two. They were 7. Yes SEVEN! Again, beautiful like gems, but devils, enormous DEVILS. I could hear my taste buds cry for help.
The first day I planned popping them one after the other. After a lengthy stare, long avoidance, I knew I had to do it. Eyeballs were angry, targeting. Fighting with the desire of just throwing them away somewhere, I displayed my act of bravery.
The ruby gem was like a villainess of an action movie, beautiful, but still an enemy. Topaz looked vulnerable but was strong enough to stab me in my throat. There was one with black color. I doubted if it was even edible. With every pill down my throat, my nose and head wrinkled. It made my face give an expression, even a child would pity. Nothing can be bitterer, nothing can be so merciless than them. Filling all of them in a revolver and shooting my head seemed to be a more tempting idea. The scary capsule at the end surprisingly turned out to be the friendliest. Apart from the big size, there was no issue with it. It was tasteless. And thus, I finally completed the toughest job of my life.
Next day, I had horrible, but a better idea- gulping all of them together! The only advantage was that they could make my tongue cry just once. This time the eyeballs were confused, deciding which one to target as I had all of them in my palm together. They thought I was trying to be tricky, but I was a warrior that day, defeating all my enemies in one single shot.
Feeling proud on my idea, I stuffed them in my mouth and drank half a glass of water. I repented on my stupid idea at the very next moment. The stubborn devils never went down. They played all possible games in my mouth. They were playing their sagas in every corner. I forgot the most clich├ęd lesson of my childhood "United we stand, divided we FALL."
I had a face of a soldier who had just lost a war. Another half a glass of water and I forced them to disperse. One by one they started sliding through my straw-size food pipe. The ruby villianess, the vulnerable topaz, the ruthless sapphire, the inedible black, the bitter orange, the gentleman capsule and the pathetic white one, which rested on my tongue for a little longer because of no coating and left the most outrageous taste before sliding down to my belly.
The war was over. I had an urge to throw up, but I didn't. I offered apologies to my taste buds for making them suffer because of my stupid idea. I could feel the dance of victory inside my belly.


Gems disappeared, water glass was empty, eyeballs were smiling and I was thinking of new strategies for next day.

I still get panic attacks when I see pills. Their size changes, color changes, and smell changes with times, but one part that never changes, the only best thing about pills - 
Sometimes to bribe me, sometimes to bring a smile on my wrinkly face - the army of good looking and good tasting food my mother lines up after the pill-session!


  1. ROFL:) the way you have described your encounter with pills is very hilarious. Who likes them! I am yet another who refuses to gulp down pills unless they are the only angels (so I am told) that can save me! And even during that, I need a biscuit or a chocolate right after those precious gems :P Quite childish, I know! :P

    Loved the way you have put forward pill-y experience :)

    1. I have met many pill-eaters in my life who chew pills like they were M&Ms. Thank you for letting me know, I am not the only one with pill phobia!! :)

  2. Haha!! I can't possibly put my hatred for pills in words :P Everytime I see a pill, I refuse to take it thinking that it won't go down my throat or something and I'll choke to death :D :D Which is why we go for those homeopathy pills- the sweet little pills which are so much kinder on the taste buds! Nevertheless, I try skipping medicines all the time but alas, the other side wins the battle :D

    Loved the blog! Following you now, do stop by sometime :)

    1. Likewise. The only pills I liked were those tiny white homeopathy ones but, I rarely ended up with those. Bummer!! :D


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