Monday, March 4, 2013

From your daughter..

Originally written on: May 8, 2011

It was not a long time ago when I sent you off-lines on how everything was going wrong and you asked me to remember how brave I was. You asked me to break all the rules to comfort myself. But, all that mattered that time was YOU and nothing more.
My life was divided in to two parts,

Part one - My Dreams
Part two - My Duties

The first part always got successful to be fabulous and in trying to enchant me. It made me see how it was a more important part of my life. The constant try of keeping both the parts balanced, always failed miserably.

The first part kept expanding from school to college, from college to job, from job to traveling and it never stopped. Pat on the back, warm smiles, appreciation & loud cheers were some rewards, but there was somewhere I lacked. I knew that. The see-saw between both lives pushed me away from you, your life.

All of a sudden, somehow very easily you lifted the burden off my shoulders and hung it on yours.

I learnt how to avoid calls and you learnt SMS.
I learnt how to silent my phone and you learnt computers.
I learnt to say "I was busy" and you learnt Facebook.
I learnt how to be invisible and you learnt sending off-lines.
I learnt typing resumes and you learnt 'S' comes after 'A'
I learnt uploading my pictures and you learnt commenting on them.

And you know, the moment you wanted to learn about putting emote-icons, that very moment seemed the cutest thing in the world to me.

You did that, for ME.

You walked every mile ahead, the time I pulled my step behind and you never rested through this wearily journey of you and me. You were right there running around, pulling your socks up.
You gave me the best part of the meal while dividing among all. You complained, but never failed to keep the tea ready for me. You used me as an example to teach Meghu some lessons, which always gave me a chance to laugh on her. You made me sleep on your bed in summers because that's where the AC was. You ignored every pain that stained your eyes, to keep my sight glowing. Your love managed to rush in through the key holes, when I had to slam the door.

And I knew I was never fulfilling.

All you never knew was that you were the best part in both the parts of my life, my dreams and my duties. Not because you anyway made your way through, but I wanted you to be in it. I didn’t call when I was down because I knew tears won’t stop while talking to you. I said I didn’t like your favorite corn because I wanted you to have the last bite. I didn't visit you more because the separation after is more painful. I always have complained you giving too much tea to finish because I forever knew how badly you wanted some sips from my cup.

But mother, no love can fight against the love of yours.

You were always an answer to my questions to the mirror. For what I am, is because of nothing else, but you.

   ©My Cactus Dress

On numerous nights when I had cried myself to sleep, I had asked nothing, but the pillow in a foreign place to be replaced with your lap because that is where my world is. The place I was born and the place I want to leave the earth from. Only you are being blessed with the magic wand to convert my every tear in to smile.

I am telling you this not because its Mother's day but, knowing that this would be a great excuse for my confessions.

Happy Mother's Day Mumma

I don’t want to say you are the best mom in the world because you are worthier than my comparison.

I love you




4 comments:

  1. Dhara.... I cried; no, I bawled like a baby after reading this post multiple times. I lost my mother a few years back, and each one of those sentences you wrote seemed to me that it was written for me!! Thank you.

    Read this - from one daughter to another.
    http://lafemmenirvana.blogspot.in/2011/05/wishes.html

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    1. I am sorry for your loss but, they stay within us forever. Don't they?
      Taking myself to your link >>

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  2. I wish my mom was here. This gave me tears. You are a lovely woman!

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    Replies
    1. I wish my mom was here too. Thank you Red :)

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